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Bottled Up Bitterness

Just moments ago, I found myself venting to a friend about my frustrations that I had held in for much too long. My dissatisfaction with work, my current life circumstances, societal issues... the works, really. And even though many of these things are right to be upset about, I had bottled them all up inside, allowing them to grow rancid and rotten, as all things do when you leave them unattended long enough. It's truly disturbing how negative and bitter one grows when left alone to contend with their own thoughts.

As of late, life has been placing many weights on me, many of which I'm ill-equipped to handle, but still expected to nonetheless. But I think the critical mistake I often make is the assumption that this weight is to be carried by me alone. For most of my life, my thoughts and feelings have not been taken seriously, and have been constantly dismissed. Even recently in my workplace, doubt has been cast on the legitimacy of my thoughts and feelings. It's extraordinarily easy for me to feel as though there is no value in the things I express, and it remains difficult to open up to those who are accepting of my emotions or who view me as more than simply a petulant whiner.

Despite those circumstances, the issue lies within myself, and I must be willing to open up to those who care. I cannot allow my pessimistic worldview to bleed into every aspect of my life simply because I let my thoughts stew and ruminate into something abhorrent. 

So to those of you reading this who have something on your chest or something weighing down on your mind: please talk to somebody. It is nearly impossible to tell the extent of your disillusionment until you voice it out loud and someone points it out to you. There is nothing worse than looking in the mirror and seeing how blind you have been to the person you have become. You are not a burden to the people that care, and you never will be. Opening up serves a twofold purpose: to strengthen the bonds you have with those who matter to you, and to strengthen the care that you have for yourself.

Even if you feel the world is broken, that does not mean you have to break along with it.


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